These are my new and improved rules:
I will require all of them to wear a uniform.
(I will provide the materials for now
but I am going to deduct the payment from their salary,
of course.)
Wearing of the Identification card will be mandatory.
(Replacement for a lost card will cost 150 pesos.
Genius.)
Proper haircut for male employees will be observed.
(I will ask my secretary to put this in writing.
Great.)
A minute late will equate to thirty;
One thing more, thirty- one to fifty- nine minutes will be equal to an hour.
(Computation for the monetary deduction will be simpler;
chances of having a “bigger collection” is higher.
Amazing.)
Personal usage of company properties
like bond paper, ink, rubber bands, et cetera, et cetera,will be strictly prohibited.
(To avoid overspending, supplies will be closely monitored by my supervisors.
Good. Good.)
Benefits like bonuses, performance incentives and paid leaves
will be for the regular employees only.
(Hmmm...since most of them are contractual,
I will just terminate and re- hire them right after.
Or better yet, get another worker.
No one is indispensable, after all.)
My words are sacred.
I am the captain of this ship.
I helped built this company from scratch.
And I practically own everything here.
I know that they have no other option
But to follow.
And there is no way I will let anyone disobey me.
These are my new and improved, one-of-a-kind rules...for now.
Brilliant.
I will probably add more later.
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